When it comes to your partner cheating, I don’t believe there are any definitive clues. He could be working late, or he could be cheating late. He could be dressing up for you — or his mistress. That’s what makes this type of thing so confusing and hurtful. When you trust your spouse, you trust his explanations. But there are always certain things that get our antennae up. They don’t seem to change much over the years, though with the advent of technology, those little hints now seem to involve a lot more cellphones and social media and a lot less lipstick on the collar (unless you’re President Obama). Here are 10 classic signs your guy (or your woman) might be cheating.

1. He starts dressing better. According to divorce lawyer Marilyn Stowe, this is still a sign you should look out for. Did he suddenly morph from flannel and dirty boots to smart suits and shiny loafers? I’d add in wearing cologne all of a sudden, or changing the cologne he always wears to something new. Could be a sign the mistress gave him a bottle that she likes better.

2. Guarding the cellphone. This is one I’ve heard a lot in my girlfriend circles — he suddenly starts sleeping with the cellphone by his bedside, or bringing it into the shower with him. He may turn it off when you’re together and say he doesn’t want to be disturbed while he’s with you — but he really doesn’t want to risk her texting or calling while you’re there. If he won’t even let you touch his phone, sumpthin’ up.

3. Password protecting everything. In this day and age, it’s prudent to password protect your phone, but it can also be a sign if he suddenly starts doing it when he never cared before. Or he refuses to give you the password.

4. He takes out new credit cards in his name. According to Stowe, this is a sign that he’s spending money on the new flame — especially if the bills go to another address or he has them delivered online only.

5. He begins making hurtful remarks about you. Picking fights all of a sudden is a classic ploy — this way if he ever gets caught, he can blame it on you and say you two were always fighting!

6. He begins to drop a female name into his conversations. I’ve heard this one before, that a guy having an affair will start bringing up a certain woman all of the time. Apparently it gives him an adrenaline rush to feel like he can talk about her and get away with it. I’d also add avoiding talking about a certain woman — say he starts working on a project with a woman but he NEVER mentions her. That’s weird if he’s spending a lot of time with her.

7. Talking about how “ugly” or “horrible” a certain woman is. This is one I’ve seen a few times — a guy tries to cover up his attraction to a certain woman by slagging her off every chance he gets.

8. He suggests separate holidays. According to Stowe, this is a clear sign he wants you out of town.

9. Doesn’t want sex. He may not reject you, but he’ll go along with your rejections where he may have previously fought them. Now it’s like, “Sure, let’s watch a movie instead. Noooo problem.”

10. Social media. I’m simply amazed at how many men forget that their wife or girlfriend is on their Facebook and yet they will flirt or even “check in” with another woman also on his Facebook. Must think women are blind!

While these are fairly “classic” signs, I’ve also seen and experienced the complete opposite. I know one husband who was doing basically all of the above — but after much investigating, his wife couldn’t find any evidence of him having an affair. And I’ve been in a situation where a guy was doing none of the above — but was.

Such is life. It’s always a conundrum.

Written by Kiri Blakeley on CafeMom’s blog, The Stir.

A. J,

I want to thank you for the services you have provided to me during one of the most difficult times in my life.

Your professionalism, combined with your empathy towards me and the situation I have been involved in is most appreciated. Lay people have very little experience or understanding of these types of situations. I am thankful that you gave me sound advice, guiding me in the parameters one must adhere to in the investigative process. I definitely found your background in law enforcement to be an asset.

In the past I have dealt with other investigators. I must say that the integrity that you exhibit has been a comfort to me during a very rough time in my life.

I found your fees to be quite reasonable and am grateful for the information you provided me. It has made a huge difference in my situation. This was money well spent, an investment in my future.

Sincerely, I hope that I do not need an investigator again, but if I do, you are my ‘go to’ guy.

Thank you,
Paula D.

I’m not sure why people lie.

In my line of work, I witness it ALL the time.

On November 20, The Statesman had a story that, according to police, a woman’s report that she was kidnapped and assaulted was a lie.

First of all, I’ll say this: if you feel a wrong has been committed to you (or anyone), you should always report it. But with that being said, I’d like to add… if you’re a woman, you have a special responsibility towards claims against men. Unfortunately, bad things happen all the time- to women and men. But if a man is accused of assault against a women, even if the notion is just hinted at… his life could be ruined.

Even if an investigator, like me, can prove that a guy is completely innocent, the damage to his reputation will have likely already taken place.

What can a guy do if he’s been accused?

If the accusation is causing enough of a problem, the man can seek legal advice. It’s possible the accuser is committing “defamation of character.”

The man can hire someone like me to prove his innocence. At the very least, this should give peace of mind to those who are close to the man (the people who, hopefully, already believe him).

Nowadays, accusations may never even make it to the police. Or, if they do, there may not be enough evidence for them to act. So… the accuser will take to the internet. They can leave comments on public news stories, make statements on their own social media avenues, etc… Many times, it’s tough to get these removed. But, the man can hire someone who specializes in SEO (Search Engine Optimization). With the right steps, negative statements can be pushed back in search results leaving positive results.

What if the man is guilty?

If the man is guilty, he should be brought to justice. If the police are unable to act because there isn’t enough evidence, a Private Investigator can look into the situation.

Bloodstain Pattern Analysis

The use of BPA can be beneficial when you don’t know what happened or the story just doesn’t add up. Hokey as it sounds, the blood can tell a story of what happened. The use of the spatter left behind as a result of an event involving bloodshed can help decipher what happened at the scene. Documentation is key and can improve your case. Just ask how we can help you and your case. Do you need us to come and document the crime scene for you? Do you need to know what happened? We can help!

DNA Analysis

DNA evidence can be the most important part of your case. Some Jurors believe it is essential to have quality DNA evidence in a case for it to be successfully proven. Some cases have it and some don’t. Why not let us take a look to see? Do you have results from a laboratory already and need help interpreting the results? We offer a second look at the evidence and the associated reports/data. This ensures that the results reported match the data collected, or that the report and conclusions they are stating really truly is supported. There can be other questions answered such as: Is anyone else there? Did the lab do the best job they could? Is there anything else that could be tested or done? What do the statistics mean?

Case Consultation

The results of a case can leave you with many questions about the meaning and if more testing should be done. We can answer that. We can help you determine other evidence that may help your case. Don’t leave your case saying, could we have done more. Let us consult on your case.

Do you need help in establishing a base set of questions to ask the expert in court? Do you want some specific questions for them? Do you want to know what the results say or don’t say? What are some reasonable explanations for the results? We can help.

Evidence Evaluation

We can re-evaluate your evidence for further possibilities. Ask us how.

Paternity Case Consultation

Knowing what that paternity report says can be confusing. Don’t know what to make of it? Wanna know who the true dad is? Do you have no idea where to start to find out the paternity of someone? Please just ask. We can help.

BIO

Brandi Mohler comes to us with 10 plus years of DNA experience. She obtained her Bachelors of Science in Microbiology from Texas A&M University.

Brandi started her career doing DNA research and STR analysis with animals for paternity. She then began her career at the Texas DPS crime lab. Moving from an Evidence Technician to a CODIS Analyst II. She analyzed many offender samples and entered them into the CODIS database. She then began her position as a Forensic DNA analyst where her duties included (at the least) testimony in court, evidence collection and evaluation, DNA STR typing (in several technologies).

She has had over 50 hours of Bloodstain Pattern Analysis classroom training and has taken part in an apprenticeship with Bob Henderson. In addition, she has taught many classes on the subject of DNA, forensics, and Blood Stain Pattern Analysis. She has helped author a laboratory book for the Level One Bloodstain Pattern Analysis class taught by Bob Henderson, as well as co authored a book with Angela Tanzillo-Swarts on the Collection and Preservation of DNA Evidence. She is a member of the Association of Forensic DNA Analysts and the International Society of Forensic Genetics.

No one wants to believe their spouse could be cheating on them. But according to research conducted in January 2014, the reality is we should be aware of the signs.

Percent of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional

Percent of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had

Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they’ve had

Percent of married men who have strayed at least once during their married lives

Percent of married women who have strayed at least once during their married lives

Percentage of men and women who admit to having an affair with a co-worker

Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity on business trips

Percentage of men and women who admit to infidelity with a brother-in-law or sister-in-law

The average length of an affair

Percentage of marriages that last after an affair has been admitted to or discovered

Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught

Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught

Percent of children who are the product of infidelity

 (Source: Associated Press, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy)

21 Signs:

1. He takes or makes phone calls in private.
2. He deletes the text history on his phone.
3. He maintains multiple e-mail or social media accounts.
4. He avoids family or other social events.
5. He suddenly spends tons of time with another person.
6. He gives gifts or frequently volunteers to help another person.
7. You notice a different scent on him.
8. He doesn’t touch you as much.
9. He dresses differently.
10. He’s gone longer.
11. He picks fights.
12. He’s being extra secretive.
13. There is a change in the emotional quality of your relationship.
14. He’s extremely angry.
15. You notice an increase in his work or his time spent away from home.
16. He pays an unusual amount of attention to his appearance.
17. He’s overly defensive.
18. His appearance has changed.
19. His behavior has changed.
20. His attitude has changed.
21. He wants less “we time” and more “me time.”

If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you, feel free to contact me to investigate.

When asked what I do as I private investigator I can respond in a number of ways.  A few of the routine services that I provide are the following:

I provide support for criminal defense attorneys.  This consists of reviewing the case, and interviewing witnesses, who may have been reluctant to speak with the police, but feel they need to give a statement.

I provide support for family law attorneys.  This consists of serving civil process.  Occasionally, I’m asked to conduct surveillance on an estranged spouse and document their activities.  Usually, what the opposing party is wanting to know is if the estranged spouse is having an affair.

I also assist families with child custody cases.  In a lot of these cases the judge provides a set of parameters that parents have to follow.  If the parameters are not being following by the opposing parent then I will be hired to document what is occurring while the child is in that parent’s custody.

Lastly, I provide support for personal injury attorneys.  This consists of obtaining documents, interviewing witnesses, and either photographing a scene or the client’s vehicle.

These are just a few services that I perform as a private investigator.